Right now my life is in boxes in the garage, in the form of books, suitcases and the world's largest bag of laundry that needs to miraculously get washed prior to said packing. (Thank goodness of House Elves, eh Dobby?) My life is also spread across the United States and beyond: Pieces of my life are in DC, in Minneapolis, in Montana–Litza, what are you doing in Montana?, in Seattle, in Portland where it snowed today, in Oakland, in Italy, and the desert of the American South West where my darling curly haired crazies are enjoying Vegas lights and Saguaro Cider; in Orange County where my aunts, uncles and whacked out cousins are watching digitalized cable in warm beds, and my Nana and Grandpa are either watching their telenovelas or watching the news in a language that I only can only listen to (¡te amo abuelos!); and in Gardena where the streets are lined with Christmas lights and my grandma Raetta is likely curled up with one of her many adorable cats.
With so many wonderful, familiar, comfortable and cozy things here, why would anyone ever wish to leave? Why leave this safe and warm place where I see my cat's tail sticking out from her hiding place under my bed, and my brother blasts hip hop music on his Bose stereo system until my pupils begin to vibrate? Where my mom yells at my dad for feeding the dog cheeseburgers, and my dad constantly quotes his favorite line from As Good As it Gets: "Sell crazy someplace else. We're all stocked up here!"–he then proceeds to laugh. And it's wonderful.
I keep asking myself why I'm going, when there are so many reasons not to go. The truth is, I don't really know what's going to happen when I'm over there. I'm sure to go broke. I know that much.
But, I want adventure. I want a new place with new systems and things to figure out. I want to learn more about myself, and I want to see the world when I'm young enough to dance until 3AM in the streets of Barcelona. And dammit, I will get to Barcelona. And Paris, Nice, Lisbon, Rome, Florence, Milan, Oxford, Dublin, Edinburgh, Berlin, Heidelberg, Vienna, Madrid–the list goes on. I'll be there for five months. Why not just go for it?
I'm a very sheltered person. Very accustomed to a certain kind of life. Now, it's time to see how I will react to a life in the wild... Or, at least the Underground. (When the base you're working from is Claremont, California, the "wild" standard isn't all the high to begin with.)
But I will miss the people I love. I will miss them all very much.
There will be pictures. Promise.
2 comments:
nicole! i'm going to miss you so much. but you'll have so much fun being wild. crazy kid. i might have to send a pocket gangster along with you though, just in case.
You will dance in the streets of all those places Nicole! Probably til 4am! Yee Haw! I'll even go with you and hold your hand from my Hoveround!
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